Us with Kak Nor & Abg Yan on 1st day of Raya.
Don’t know why today Kak Nor & Abg Yan fetched me and brought us jalan2 to Orchard and Mustafa Centre, plan nak jalan raya terus cancelled!
Just penning my thoughts… I must say my journey with Achit wasn’t an easy one, we each have a past and decided to just live in the present and work for our future, in fact Alhamdullilah I came to accept all of his past… I still remember what mama first asked me secretly when I brought him, Mama, Papa Is and Atikah for dinner some one back.
The fact that I didn’t get engaged, no doubt I was really sad but like I always tell myself ade hikmah disebaliknya…
Really love the company of his family, was utterly touched when Papa Is offered to drive me back home even though he was very sleepy. I just love the sight of his sincere fatherly love actions… Like the other day Achit hit his head against the ceiling in the carpark while climbing up the lorry, he rub his head and selawat. FYI Papa Is is their step-father. Sometimes I do hope Ibuk might find someone who can care and love her for who she is…
Ya Allah I don’t know why today I felt so emotional and teary. After our random trip to Orchard and Mustafa Centre they send me home first and I was teary and reluctant to go home 😢😢
And later on The mister text me and told me Kak Nor asked him a shocking question.
"Kak ckp i tknk ke kahwin dgn u..den i ckp nk lh.."
Hehehe usually Kak Nor open her mouth only to scold or nyakat him, but this question abit shocking.
InsyaAllah if all goes well.
Okay I must admit this year Raya is abit special for me, for all my life I went solo until I met him.
Pretty anxious and exciting to go out jalan raya with his family and of cos meeting his hugeeeee family.
But one thing for sure am proud of him today cos he went over to Ayah’s place bringing me along. Sometimes I know we are in no position to say certain things but as his partner I have always prayed that one day he will bury all the hatred feeling towards his Ayah & Nenek one fine day.
Like how I used to hate my Dad literally cos life was hard for my mum bringing both me and younger sister up. But Alhamdullilah I’ve included him too in my prayers.
Alhamdullilah, thank you Allah for giving me another day to live to allow me and grant me such happiness.
La Tahzan, Innallaha Ma’ana
La Tahzan, Innallaha Ma’ana; Janganlah bersedih, sesungguhnya Allah bersama kita.
An advise once Kak Hana did conveyed to me. And also an advise once I shared with others…
This Ramadhan brought me a lot of thinking and reconsidering lately…
I don’t know why, but maybe Atok knows I’m having a dillemma and called me up and asked me if I called him yesterday which I didn’t but when I asked him if he did dreamed of me doing so, he just kept quiet…
Recently I feel so left out at home. I don’t know things just changed a lot… It changed when my engagement day had to be hold off, it changed when my sister started working and learned how to earned her own money…
My sister used to plan and ask me when or how we going to celebrate Ibuk’s birthday and what are we going to get her for her birthday present… But this year she bought ibuk’s birthday present on her own…
And nowadays she doesn’t even show me a simple respect as an elder sister… I’m really losing my patience…
That explains why nowadays I’m not always at home, I seldom break my fast at home. Even when I break fast at home, Nenek is always pampering my last uncle way too much… He doesn’t even does his own dish…
Achit knows this very well. Kalau ikut kan nafsu and fikiran yang degil ni, I just wanna leave this house as soon as possible…
Ujian ini menjadi bukti bahawa Allah menyayangiku. Jika ku sabar dan tabah menghadapinya serta berpasrah diri terhadap Nya, maka Allah akan memberikan nikmat yang jauh lebih besar. Sesungguhnya dibalik kesulitan itu ada kemudahan. InsyaAllah(:
Ya Allah, kau kuatkan la semangat ku…
Alhamdullilah, happy 8th monthsary to us. It was yesterday, technically since I’m entering this past midnight.
Only Allah knows what we both have been going through, his struggles, my struggles… Our struggles.
And Alhamdullilah maybe berkat bulan ramadhan he got a better job offer, and this company even send me for his last set of course so he could move up the career ladder in future.
InsyaAllah slowly but surely. No doubt I was having high hopes he could be accepted either in SPF or ICA but Allah lagi maha yg tahu, maybe that’s not his rezeki.
Slept over his house the other day after I’m done with morning duty. I slept with mama, talking to her I know deep inside she also wants the best for achit too. InsyaAllah mama I will try my best to give him the support he needs and be his pillar of strength too. And I know mama hope I can be like her other menantu who has their utmost concern of her and her childrens.
Alhamdullilah Allah has let us meet Ramadhan once again.
This year Ramadhan is going to be a bit special for me personally. Spend some quality time together and as usually we had our long chat which some parts brought me close to tears but I managed to held it back.
Like I said, our love is a little bit different from others but I’m thankful Allah did let me see that I’m not alone in this kind of situation. But let this journey be our little secret cos Allah has better plans for the both of us.