10.07.14.

Angsty

So many things happening around me.

I just wanna shut myself from everything.

First it was work related. All because of the stupid system and pharmacist team who can come up with such a nicely done up statistic always put nurses into a deep shit. From the moment we went electronically I swear it makes nurses life a tad bit difficult. Ya so now after I made a stupid mistake the Atas people will look into it.

Never felt so frustrated about such things before. So frustrated that I couldn’t hold my tears.

Secondly ada satu hamba Allah ni, approached me, not that I’m judging you but kite sama agama, dua-dua umat Islam and Alhamdullilah awak pun berhijab tapi maaf kata, paling basic untuk beri salam masih belum pupuk dalam hati awak. Banyak nye kau takde niat lain. I swear and hope I won’t be any near like you at all.

Urghhhhhh!!!!!!!

So frustrated with everything.

I hate myself, I just hate all this.

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10.06.14.

Praying Silently

Assalamualaikum.

I sat awhile after my prayers holding on to Allah’s promise that He will always be by my side and reward me for my patience…

But sometimes I do wonder how did I ever have such patience, and when I’m at the verge of giving up I ended up getting back on my feet and kept my patience going…

Yes I must admit he had a point there.. For every relationship we are bound to argue, fight and even say things we didn’t meant to say at that point of the heated argument.

But sometimes I wish I’m strong enough to tell him that at times I’m not strong to face such arguments again… At times I do wonder if I were to just walk away from all this will he pull me back??

Our story is different from the rest. Wasn’t meant for anyone to know but it’s between us and Allah…

Your birthday is coming soon, he didn’t want any gift and not even a birthday cake but wishes me to be a soleha wife in the future…

In shaa Allah, I’ll always pray asking Allah to grant us a longer life so we can achieve our niat to be a husband & wife.

And one thing I know you always find it repetitive when I keep reminding you not to forget your prayers because… If one day Allah decides not to let our niat come true and decides to take me away first, I hope I can receive you and await you at Allah’s beautiful home, Jannah.

In shaa Allah.

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9.19.14.

Tears

Sometimes i do sit alone and just cry.

Sometimes I do feel I have gone through too many tiny ordeals every other day & I keep wondering when will all these end…

I’m waiting for a fresh start for both of us.

But sometimes waiting is kind of tiring…

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9.14.14.

Wondering…

Sometimes I do ask and keep pondering what’s the plan that Allah have in stall for me in the future…

Yes am going to hit 25 soon this year and to see people around me getting engaged & married made me developed a kinda mixed feelings. I must admit jealousy is one of them…

My relationship with Achit was indeed a roller coster ride, we’re going to be 1 year old together in 2 months time. Hanya Allah and both of us know very well what we have gone through and I really thank Allah for somehow He manage to bestow me with ketabahan and kesabaran. Really.. If anyone knows my real story I would very much say he or she will just give this relationship up.

Sometimes and yes love is kinda blind but I do believe in Allah’s plan and I believe we could build our own masjid together in the future, learning from each other especially.

Been spending more time with his mama and papa, kak nor & abg yan. Felt as if I’m part of them already. The other day when I felt troubled and down, I almost teared when he said he and his family love me a lot too. (‘:

I know things haven been easy for him either cos only I know how heavy his responsibility are right now. In shaa Allah, I’ve always asked Allah to murahkan your rezeki so you can be a responsible person.


And I hope I can stay strong for the sake of Allah too. In shaa Allah… Everyone has their own path and stories written by Allah, all we got to do is have faith in Him and trust His plans…

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8.20.14. AchitKas,
I was late to be your first but In shaa Allah I’m preparing myself to be your last ๐Ÿ˜Œ

Few of my close friends would say my relationship went way too much ujian from Allah swt. I must agree to it and Alhamdullilah with god’s willing I managed to overcome it.

Ya Allah please guide us and ease our journey to our niat will be achieved at your will… In shaa Allah.

I was late to be your first but In shaa Allah I’m preparing myself to be your last ๐Ÿ˜Œ

Few of my close friends would say my relationship went way too much ujian from Allah swt. I must agree to it and Alhamdullilah with god’s willing I managed to overcome it.

Ya Allah please guide us and ease our journey to our niat will be achieved at your will… In shaa Allah.

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